Me. At least after what I've been through.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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