I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Randomize
