I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
