it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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