Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
