Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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