Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
