idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Ladies don't puke and tell
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
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