your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
