awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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