im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Randomize
