the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
