I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I still have a little drunk in my system
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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