He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Randomize
