you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
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