I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Randomize
