if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
is it fun? or sober?
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
