K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
