i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
He shit in the fireplace
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
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