about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
