I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Randomize
