Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
