ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
