I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Randomize
