That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize