You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Less talking, more tequila
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Randomize