So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
