i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
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