I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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