Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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