All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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