I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
