Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
