There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
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