Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
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