If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize