so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
