so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
