He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
