fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Randomize
