found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
