Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
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