Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
