Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
