I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
