I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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