The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
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