yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
Randomize
