i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
