i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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