He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
