Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
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