i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
