I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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