i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Randomize
