I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Randomize
