alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
